Write a Letter - Heal Your Soul!
Handling Responses

What should you do if the person does not respond to your letter?

First, don’t assume that the person who received your letter does not care or isn’t interested in reconciling. There may be many reasons why a person does not respond. The person may be surprised to receive your letter, they may not know how to respond to your letter, or they may need time to ponder and digest the words written in your letter. So, give them time and keep an open mind.

Now, there is always the possibility that the person will not respond because they do not wish to reconcile. This is where the expectations you set beforehand will help. Be reminded that this process is about you and your relationship with God. Take comfort in knowing that you did the right thing and God will honor your faithfulness and commitment to Him. And, never give up hope. God will change hearts and mend relationships in His time.

What should you do if you receive a response to your letter, but the response is negative, hurtful, or damaging to your feelings?

This is a tough one and this is the fear that will keep you from writing a letter of reconciliation in the first place. But like everything else in life, God will carry you through.

This process is about stepping out in faith, so there is no guarantee that the person with whom you try to reconcile will be warm, receptive, or welcoming. Yes, you may find the opposite to be the case. If you find yourself in this position, understand that you can’t control the other person’s words or actions; you can only control yourself.

It is best if you don’t respond to negative or harsh condemnation. Remember, this is about you and God, so you don’t need the other person’s approval of your actions. Instead, I encourage you to pray for that person. Pray the same things for them you want for yourself – a changed heart. Pray this prayer:

Lord, I know (the person’s name) is still upset and is hurting.
I understand how difficult this process is for all of us who are involved.
Please open (the person’s name) heart and mind
and help (him/her) deal with the anger and the pain.
Please place Your desire for forgiveness and healing in (his/her) heart,
so that Your desire becomes (his/her) desire.
Please help (him/her) to see why forgiveness and reconciliation are necessary.
In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
If you receive a harsh response to your letter, the truth is, you may feel like you would have been better off if you just left it alone. Please don’t be defeated by this lie. You’re never better off not following God’s will. My hope and prayer is that if you decide to take this venture, you will not regret pleasing God, regardless of the outcome.
See our Healing Letters page
to read actual letters
written by others.